Goodbye 2014…

2014 is finally over,
the most painful year of my life,
loosing a very big piece of my heart,
my wonderful brother…

Loosing my uncle,
loosing many friendships,
even those which I could swear were real…

Had to accept the bitter fact,
that most friends are only strangers,
they are often around for some interest,
for their walking away there are no other answers!

I’m thankful to all,
to those who stayed,
and helped me resist in the hardest moments,
and to those who left.
Thanks to them both for showing me the way,
who to keep in my life,
and who to keep away!

Though I wish a Happy New Year for all,
I know life and suffering can not be apart,
how can them be while life is to learn to love,
and then suddenly to learn to leave those beloved?
However that’s the only way for the little seeds,
to grow into marvelous trees.
The only way for the slow caterpillar,
to transform into a butterfly and fly with ease.

So if you can be with your beloved ones,
cherish well all of its moments,
and when you have to face a painful loss,
resist, the wound never heals,
but cherish how your soul upward flees.

Comes what may come cherish life,
cherish all of its moments,
none of them will ever return,
each of them is hiding a lesson…

 

Yes, I know it’s not easy… There are moments when overcoming the pain seems easier, but then there are moments which just crumble us and don’t let us see any point in them… Yes, many times it’s really hard, but let’s just try!

Oh 2014,
you betrayer 2014!
Goodbye,
goodbye,
I will never miss you!

However thanks for teaching me
how cruel some people could be!
I owe you such a big lesson,
oh I owe it to you cruel betrayer!
Even though the deep incision,
will burn and hurt forever!

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9 thoughts on “Goodbye 2014…

      • thank you Mary)
        my last year was nothing compared to what you been through, you are a really strong lady)
        I thought i have nothing left to see in coming year but after reading your words again in the morning I feel i should not give up.
        You are right, i will try to do much better against all odds.
        Your brother and Uncle watching you proudly from heaven)

        • Thanks a lot for your kind words Mikil.
          Yes, there’s always something to live for. Our lives are very precious treasuries, we just need to try to see things from a different angle every now and then.

  1. I hope 2015 can be a year of healing for you, I still miss my brother and it has been some years since he took his own life. The pain is a dull ache in my heart these days after many years with out him. I hope this year will be better all round for you.

    • Dear Kath thank you so much for your kind words. I’m not sure whether healing would ever happen, it’s more like getting used to the pain.
      I know how you feel about your brother. My brother’s wife had turned his life into a real hell, we know that he had suffered a lot before his heart stopped beating forever.
      Maybe that’s what make the healing impossible, when we know how much they had suffered, and that we couldn’t do anything for them.
      I sometimes feel paralyzed, just want to get to that moment when he had fell on the cold floor with low pulse, and his wife simply ignored him and left home… She didn’t even spend 30 seconds to check whether her husband laying on the floor was not struggling with death, 30 seconds where more than enough to check his pulse… I’d die to get to that moment, to hug him, to lift him up, to call the ambulance, to accompany him to the hospital, to say all the prayers I know and ask God to save his life… I’ve recreated the last hours of his life too many times in my head, and each time I feel like the pain in my throat is just choking me!
      Ah, I’m sorry to have written too many sad things… I think lots of time is needed to get just a little bit over it…

      I wish for you a beautiful year Kath. Staying creative is a great way to deal with difficulties of life. I wish 2015 will be a very creative and productive year for you, and also for me!:)

      Thanks again for your kind and thoughtful words. You are truly an amazing person, hope to be able to begin following your beautiful posts soon.

  2. A Happy New Year to you Mary. I hope 2015 is a much better. I understand how you feel. I’ve had years that made me breath a sigh of relief when it was over. My God bless you this year.

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