2014 is finally over,
the most painful year of my life,
loosing a very big piece of my heart,
my wonderful brother…
Loosing my uncle,
loosing many friendships,
even those which I could swear were real…
Had to accept the bitter fact,
that most friends are only strangers,
they are often around for some interest,
for their walking away there are no other answers!
I’m thankful to all,
to those who stayed,
and helped me resist in the hardest moments,
and to those who left.
Thanks to them both for showing me the way,
who to keep in my life,
and who to keep away!
Though I wish a Happy New Year for all,
I know life and suffering can not be apart,
how can them be while life is to learn to love,
and then suddenly to learn to leave those beloved?
However that’s the only way for the little seeds,
to grow into marvelous trees.
The only way for the slow caterpillar,
to transform into a butterfly and fly with ease.
So if you can be with your beloved ones,
cherish well all of its moments,
and when you have to face a painful loss,
resist, the wound never heals,
but cherish how your soul upward flees.
Comes what may come cherish life,
cherish all of its moments,
none of them will ever return,
each of them is hiding a lesson…
Yes, I know it’s not easy… There are moments when overcoming the pain seems easier, but then there are moments which just crumble us and don’t let us see any point in them… Yes, many times it’s really hard, but let’s just try!
you betrayer 2014!
I will never miss you!
However thanks for teaching me
how cruel some people could be!
I owe you such a big lesson,
oh I owe it to you cruel betrayer!
Even though the deep incision,
will burn and hurt forever!
Still struggling with my pain I came to this amazing video and song yesterday. Needless to mention how much I cried with this very impressive video. It is very sad but at the same time looks at death through a different frame which leaves you some hope.
I can’t get over it yet, I miss my brother so much, and everyday instead of getting a bit healed I feel more pain. Can’t believe that I won’t see his lovely face anymore, can’t believe that I won’t hear his beautiful voice… While people he died for have very quickly restarted their normal life, just like nothing has happened, I’m struggling days and nights to overcome this pain…
I’d like to share this song and video with everyone who have lost someone very dear in life. Wishing for our beloved ones who left, eternal peace and happiness, and so much strength for us who remain with the pain to go on, until the day we will meet them again.
There was a time when sun could warm me,
when spring breezes could bring me smiles,
there was a time when there were colors,
and life could have its beautiful lies…
Now I’m walking just on ashes,
and all I see is dark,
the light, the colors, the smells are gone,
in the sky I can find no spark…
I loved the green shades in your eyes,
loved the naughty curls of your hair,
loved the warmth of your kind hand,
holding my little hand when we walked away
Since I can recall you’ve been my North Star,
showing me, telling me the way to go.
Now I’m lost in this aimless world,
wondering where the days flow…
You taught me how to hold the pencil,
now how can I dare to draw?
Every single stroke brings a memory
the papers away I want to throw…
I shed all the tears in the world,
but what can bring you back?
When can I see your face again,
when there will be a simple track?
As far as my lungs can breathe,
my heart will burn and ache,
until the day that you’ll come back
your lil sister’s hand you’ll take…
Here’s the result of 17-18 hours of sacrificed sleep! Another portrait drawing using my old mechanical pencil.
Credits of the beautiful photo I used as model for this drawing go to: Rifqi Dahlgren (click to visit his blog). He kindly let me use his work as model for my noncommercial drawing. There are great portrait photos on his blog, you can find the one I chose for this drawing here: http://rifqisphoto.wordpress.com/2012/08/06/the-beauty-style/
Well, if you look at the original photo you’ll definitely notice that the model is much more beautiful than my drawing! Unfortunately I realized it only after scanning my finished work and comparing it to the original photo on my PC. However I think I’ve learned a bit from my mistakes, hope to be able to avoid some of them for my next drawing.
Although I’ve not been successful in making the drawing look like the model, I’m somehow happy with the final result.
Here are some steps of the drawing process, the photos are all taken by a camera, which again because of the low quality (too dark or too light) I had to adjust their lightnings on my computer, otherwise it would have been hard to show how they really looked like:
Step 8 may seem similar to step 9. In step 9 I added final touches to make it look more realistic, it may not be noticeable, but the differences do exists. 🙂
The image of the final work posted above the steps gallery is taken by scanner, however there are subtle differences in respect to the original work. Like the bright area on her nose, in the original drawing that area is less evident, although the shaded areas are similar to the original drawing. I don’t know whether the problem is my scanner, or it is the problem with graphite pencils, ’cause it seems mission impossible to capture my graphite drawings as they really are!
Hope you liked this post. Can’t wait to read what you think about it!
Guess I’m back to my creative mood again! I have started a new drawing few weeks ago, but because of my not-collaborating mood, it has become one of those really slow and gradual drawings, which remain untouched for several days or even a week! Until 2 days ago while putting in order a closet, I accidentally found some watercolor supplies I’d received as a gift times ago. Following several great watercolor artists on WordPress, I have been inspired a lot to try this media. So I just couldn’t help but grabbing the black watercolor pencil and trying to draw a portrait, using one of the Kurt Cobain’s famous photos as model, ’cause it was in black and white and old enough. The result is not comparable to the work obtained by mechanical pencil, the hair on the left side for example doesn’t even look like hair! lol The fact that I did all in less than 3 hours is just hilarious for me, specially because it was my first try with watercolor pencil. I’m curious to see how it would work with real watercolor for me, ’cause watercolor pencils are easier to use.
Anyway those 2-3 hours of free drawing and painting, without any worries for mistakes just lifted my creating mood. I could even come back to my unfinished drawing. There will be sleepless, “drawingful” nights ahead, but I believe it’s worth it! 🙂
Click on the image to see a bigger image.
Finally it’s finished! Here is the scanned image of the completed drawing (I used compuet to add the watermark on it).
I did my best to scan it the nearest possible to the actual drawing, struggling with the scanner light settings, but it always came out too light or too dark. This one represented the original work the best, but it’s slightly darker. I think the problem is the graphite itself, using a camera or scanner doesn’t make a big difference, it reflects light very much, specially when the whole drawing is done by an HB lead. I think the harder grades reflect the light more when they are pressed a lot on the paper.
Here are some photos I managed to take occasionally. Again working at night with lack of proper facilities they just came out with a horrible quality. I tried to fix the lights a bit on computer, but not very much could have been done. However I’m posting them to show you some steps of the drawing process.
It took about 30 to 35 hours of work and the tools used for it as I’ve probably mentioned before were: Fabriano 220 gr. 22×33 cm smooth white paper, Pelikan kneaded eraser, mechanical pencil with HB 0,5 mm Staedtler leads. For softening the bigger shaded areas I used make-up cleaning tissues (cosmetic cotton-wool pads), and for the smaller parts “ear cleaning sticks”! Yes, you read it correctly! 😀 Well, I had received this box of cosmetic pads and ear cleaning sticks some times ago, when I read somewhere on internet that cosmetic pads are great as smoothing tools for graphite drawings I opened the box, and then a lamp was lighted in my mind looking at the ears cleaning sticks: they would work as smoothing tools for the fine shades! And they worked!
As for the model, she doesn’t want me to talk about her, however gave me all the rights to her photo to be used as a model for my drawing, so I can put this drawing for sale! Thanks to her 🙂
If you’re interested to buy contact me on marysculptor at gmail.com
Thank you for visiting my blog and reading this post, see you soon in the next post (crossing fingers!).
I would have worked on it more, but what could I do when after many days not finding the time to sculpt I uncovered my sculpture and found it solid?! 😦 It was almost dried, could just polish the surface a bit with some wet stuff, add some hair and improve the neck…
Ah it drives you nuts when you don’t have the right tools, worse of all when you don’t have any time, but insist to do a work anyway! No, I’m not happy, but I won’t loose hope. Next time I’ll try to make a smaller sculpture which will be easier to manage, and create some better tools (like the base), paper just couldn’t resist the weight of that much clay, indeed it ended up with some cracks at the neck, ’cause the weight of the head applied so much pressure on the neck.
OK, did you guess who he is? Don’t worry if you didn’t, here is the answer:
He is Tom Meighan, the singer of Kasabian Band. What do you think about it? Do you find any resemblance?!
I took many shots, but with lack of light and a too amateur photograph (me!), they just didn’t show the details I liked to get. The following photo is one of the few shots which I liked, used flash light for that, then improve the lights in Photoshop. I’d like to record a brief video, turning the sculpture around, but not having any rotating base, I should wait a bit.
Until next post, bye! 🙂
This is a new portrait drawing which I hope (crossing fingers!) to finish soon, then I will post some photos of the different steps together with the finished work and some more info.
And yes, here my magical mechanical pencil finally shows up! That Pelikan eraser is great too! For this drawing, just as my other recent drawings, I’ve used only these two tools and some tissue for softening the shades.
Hope you like it! 🙂
Last night I worked about 5 hours on my latest clay sculpture and here are some photos of the result. Having to deal with lack of sleep is not easy for me, it can’t be if you have a long day full of responsibilities and duties ahead, but incredibly I just don’t feel tired today! Maybe it’s because I’m happy with how my sculpture has turned out to be.
Up to now 15 to 18 hours have been spent on it, and at least 5 more hours are needed, as his eyes, lips, hair and neck still need a lot of work. However it’s now looking much more like the singer who I’m trying to sculpt. If you have seen my last post, you’ll notice that the hair of the statue has been changed, I changed it so that it could look more like how this singer is now. If you like to try and guess his name, please drop a comment, thanks! 🙂
So I finally managed to record a video while sculpting the basics of a head, 5 hours of work reduced in 3 min. approx. Will post some photos of how it looks now later.
It has been a great practice and I learned a lot while working on it.
What’s fun about this video is that I recorded it simply with my 4 years old cell phone, and the sad part is that it was the mission impossible to keep that cell phone where it should have stayed! And the craziest thing about it was the cell phone memory running out every now and then, so you see some gaps and some jumps in the scenes.
If the music drives you nuts just turn it off, well it’s the very first time that I’m trying to create a digital audio, and I really had to! After getting informed that I actually couldn’t use any commercial song or music for my video to be put on YouTube, and before getting crazy to understand the copyright rules and find a free music, I just decided to create a very short piece of audio to add to this video, and voila!
This sculpture has yet a long way to be completed, but I just wanted to share this funny video to show you how I actually begin a sculpture. I don’t make the right proportions at the start, just get it while proceeding, adding every now and then some amounts of clay where there’s a lack of it. I also need to open the sculpture every now and then and add some more paper to create more volume when it’s needed.
I’m eager to know what you think about it, considering that it’s half-done and not completed. Your comments under my video on YouTube are also very appreciated.
I was waiting for the arrival of my son when I first created this statue. Just did a rough sculpture out of clay to express and to capture that peaceful feeling of being connected to the whole universe as a part of the creation process. I called it “Holding the Miracle”.
Since then every time I looked at it I saw lots of missing details, so every now and then I picked up the dried statue and carved it to add details to different parts of it, using a cutter. Now I just don’t feel to add any more details, so finally it can be announced finished! 🙂
I’m not yet informed whether this is a known technique, or whether it’s a right thing to do, can’t even know how it will look after being fired, until it will be fired actually. I just find it easier to add details to a hardened dried clay with a nice sharp cutter, than to get crazy with the sticky wet clay.
When a woman discovers that she’s going to become a mother usually there’s a rush of different feelings, there are worries, doubts, fears… but then those difficult to describe moments arrive. The moments I tried to depict with my statue, those filled with the joy of holding a miracle of God and the happiness of being the shelter and refuge for a tiny creature, giving all that can be offered to that little angel whose heartbeats begin to be heard on checkup sessions, and soon his miraculous movements are felt. That sweetness and joy get over the fears and doubts, and that’s how a very unprepared and inexperienced girl is transformed into a loving mother, then day by day just as her existence melt into her child’s, her dreams one by one melt into one: the happiness of her child.
This is how it was originally, achieved by working with wet clay only:
Then by an accident that part of hair over her shoulder was broken and after many failed attempts to fix it I just decided to totally eliminate the remnants from her shoulder and face.
Hope you liked this post. For my next sculpture I’m going to record a video, stay tuned! 😀
Finally I managed to post a drawing! This is the latest, working on it VERY occasionally, maybe half an hour a week! I’ve reached the point at which a drawing can be considered finished, while you can still add lots of details to it. So I share it with you, but guess will continue working on it, adding those crazy details to make it more realistic.
Click on the image for a higher resolution image.
Materials used for this drawing are almost the same as before: my magical mechanical pencil, smooth Fabriano paper (this time I used the heavier one: 220 gr.) and Pelikan white gum eraser.
Hope you like it. 🙂
I sculpted this clay statue some years ago, as it’s a very rough work I wasn’t sure whether it could appear on my blog or not…
Lately I took another look at it, and thought I still like it a lot. Called it interior peace, a capture of a state of being, when you can finally be at peace with yourself, so with all the universe.
When you finally embrace your being, you embrace the whole universe…
It’s very hard to keep that state, I guess everyone experience it for a very limited time in their life, and then everyday routines and rigid styles of living and thinking take you back to your usual place. So I tried to do something which could recall me that great peace whenever I’d look at it, and there came out this statue! Hope you like it too 🙂
This is what I’ve been up to recently! Sorry if it doesn’t have anything to do with a portrait drawing, but sometimes you just need to spend that created out of nothing extra time, to sit down on a cozy coach and put aside all the worries and thoughts that bite your nerves during the day! And what can relax your tired mind better than knitting? Not everyone may consider this art (I personally do), but believe me, it is for sure a very meditative and relaxing activity. And the result is so satisfactory! This one keeps my toddler quite warm as I used 100% wool yarn, and with the season’s yarn discounts spent only 8 euros for the supplies!
As for the design I just looked at some V-Neck vests using Google image search and then mixed the ideas to get my own design. It seemed like it was never going to finish, both the yarn and needles were so fine (used 3mm needles for this vest), and not having knitted for years I had forgotten many working details, but fortunately internet made it easy to find whatever I needed, and even tricks I never knew about, to get the result I was hoping for. Just wish I could keep all this detail safe in my mind for my next try on knitting! 🙂
With all the recent tragic events I feel completely reluctant to go on with my latest statue. Considering it talks about the great love between mother and child, the images of Palestinian mothers crying over their dead babies come into my mind and leave a deep pain in my heart… My statue tries to show the peace and love which every mother and every child has the right to feel and to live with, while outside in the real world many mothers and many children are deprived from this very vital right for many reasons, and wars are among the most absurd reasons for such a horrible loss.
So I just post the photos of the statue’s last state of progress and consider it finished.
Hope you like it!
Hi, here’s an update of my recent work, just to let you know that I’m still alive! 😀
The child still needs many details to be added. The mother’s hair and hand are also uncompleted. Unfortunately I couldn’t find the chance to work on it, hope to post the finished statue sooner.
Click on the image to see better.
Nothing can drive me crazier than seeing the image of a completely broken parent holding the dead body of their child… Only a parent can understand the depth of this pain. What on earth is worse than this? And if this innocent blossom of life, is shattered and withered only because of the mere madness of some crazy people at power?!!
Tonight I saw a photo of a dead Syrian boy, covered by his blood, on the hands of his broken hearted father, who was crying like hell in pain. My spirit is all shattered, tears continue running on my face, when is this world going to put an end to these tragedies?
Since I was a child I’ve seen heart breaking images like this on TV, on newspapers, and in the recent years on internet. Nothing ever changes.
We are talking about art and music, cake recipes, preparing for Halloween, and people are dying silently out there… Innocent children, who should just laugh and play, are falling like the autumn leaves, and we just keep ourselves busy thinking of something else. Just because they say it’s the way it should be…
I’m not going to talk about politics, it’s useless, craziest people at power are doing whatever they like to this world, and many times they use everything they can to convince people that things are the way they say. No one ever feels any need to think beyond the walls around them. I’m not asking anyone to go and search for the truth. I just think we have the responsibility to close our eyes and shut our ears sometimes, and just think! What is worth the life of these beautiful angels? In all wars among the first victims are children… Can’t you see? This pain is too big, it’s too heavy! We are living in a world where many children are dying because of the wars we could have prevented! Instead we let us get convinced, because it’s easier to sleep and dream of beautiful things, than to wake up and smell the odor of blood and fire in the real world!
I believe that no war can ever be justified by any reason or logic. We are human being, we have wisdom, we have souls, we have hearts, yet we act much worse than animals! Incredible amounts of money are spent on producing weapons, and creating wars. The result? After all these years of blood and massacre are we living in a safer world? And what if all that was financed on education, culture improvement and health throughout the world? Just think about it!!!
Oh my God, it’s incredible that some people can’t see such an evident fact, maybe because they have no experience of what war is in reality. All wars bring violence, insecurity and poverty. Where these three are present there arrives the culture poverty, when there is a poorer culture there are much more ignorant people, and where there is ignorance humanity becomes weaker and weaker. It’s impossible to create something good out of any war. The only way to make any good change in people is to improve their culture, to combat their ignorance by providing them knowledge, there are thousands ways to do so, thousand ways which cost much less than a violent destructive war! Can’t believe that we are at 2012, and yet acting like thousand years before Christ! What has changed in people? Nothing! There is more technology, but humanity is always at risk…
I was thinking of choosing a color for our blogs and social networking pages for November, to show our alertness towards the importance of peace. White or olive green (traditional color of peace) or blue, tell me which one can work better in your opinion, and spread the idea please.
I’m sorry it was the only thing I could do for your soul, innocent lovely child, the saddest shattered blossom, who received those deep painful wounds and shots where parents kisses and caresses should have been received… 😦
I’d been so busy that I had completely forgotten about this new statue laying under its plastic cover for weeks! Yesterday I pulled away its cover and found it totally dried! What would you do with a dried clay statue? Well, I must admit that I prefer carving a solid material than modeling the humid sticky clay! So I started carving it (with the same tools I use on a humid clay! OMG!), as the clay was of a soft type, it was not a difficult job. I used a wet brush to soften the harsh surfaces and hide the effect of the carving tools. Who knows whether this technique already exists or I have invented a new one?! Ah, just kidding, this can’t be a big discovery! 😀 I don’t have the time to search for it, but when I’ll have, will let you know.
I tried to make the whole statue look like a heart, as there’s such an immense love between a mother and child. Since I’ve become a mother, I’m really fascinated by works which are inspired by this divine love, and I really like to create something into which I can put a little of that love. This is my second try. I’ll post the first attempt someday, even if it was very simple.
This one is half done now, I should work on their arms and hands, and the mother’s hair. Also there is still much work to do on their faces. Hope to manage to finish it within a week.
Don’t wonder why the photo looks so ugly, I had to use Photoshop (very hurriedly!) to cover the background with black, to hide my ugly hand (to get the right light on the statue I had to hold it in my hand, it’s almost the size of a hand) and the ugly background of my messy desk! You won’t see this wonderful effect on the completed work! (fingers crossed! :))